Purging & Letting Go - November 29, 2017
November has been a very busy and wonderful month for me which has included purging my closet. Coincidentally or shall I say beautifully orchestrated by the Universe, I got beautiful new floors installed in my room at the same time I was reading the life-changing magic of tidying up by Marie Kondo. In order to get my floors done, I had to move everything from my room downstairs, upstairs. Well, that lent for the perfect set up to go through my things.
Let me start by telling you that I don’t consider myself to be a collector. I give away things very regularly, much to my son’s chagrin, as he likes to keep EVERYTHING. I didn’t follow Marie’s exact method of putting everything in a pile before sorting but I did go through each piece in my closet individually handling each item before determining if it was staying or going.
The process actually ended up being quite clearing for me both in space and psychologically. Even before I went through my clothes, I had already begun to let go of some items that I had held onto for a long time. I knew it was time.
A few items that stood out to me that I finally was ready to give away included: an argyle vest that I wore for my son’s first day of pre-school 10 years ago, a black and white batik skirt that I wore on my very first Mother’s Day, 13 years ago, a ski jacket and a beautiful pair of 4 inch heels I wore for my birthday several years ago (the only time I ever wore them acutally bc they were insanely high – dangerous to a gal like me) and I threw away my son’s baby pillow – the little teeny tiny pillow that had changed colors. I mention these particular items because they indicate to me what I was holding onto – the past.
One of my greatest joys in life is being a mom. I remember when I was pregnant and I asked a friend of mine who had just had her baby, “Do you feel like this is what you were born to do?” I think I heard someone say it before. My friend looked at me like I was high and simply responded, “NO!” Well, as it turns out, I do think that one of my main purposes in this life was to be my son’s mom. I don’t claim to love every minute of it but I do claim to LOVE IT! I feel blessed to have a close relationship, CLOSE, not perfect with my son.
I noticed I had been holding on to some of my milestones with my son I guess in hopes to keep him near me always but I realize that that keeps me living in the past. Every time I go to get clothes from my closet, I walk down memory lane. The clothes I gave away were clothes that I did not wear yet they mingled in with clothes that I do wear regularly. Hmmm. So, every time I chose an outfit, I’d meet up with the past. I knew it was time to thank them for being on my journey and begin being a little more present in the now with my 13 year old boy. I want to live mindfully and gratefully each day my son and I are together and I am able to be here for him. I want to release the past into the past and thank it which I did.
I also let go of the former me who used to ski. A couple years ago, I finally gave away my first ski jacket that I bought with my own money and that was probably the last time I skiied too with my new ski jacket as it were. Truth be told, I have never loved skiing, it was yet another thing I did to prove my self worth. When I was younger, I used to ski with a bunch of guy friends that were quite good at skiing. I figured if I could keep up with them then I was impressive as well. Well, the thing was, everytime I skiied, I had that feeling of going too fast and being out of control a bit that exhilirated many people but for me scared me to death. Lol! The last time I skiied I decided was the last but I still had my jacket. Giving that jacket away felt good to me. It was as if I were telling myself I had permission not to ski and that I was just as wonderful without skiing. I’m sure my husband would prefer I continue to ski but actually maybe not because the last time we skiied, he told me I skiied like I was catching butterflies now. I do love butterflies.
And good bye to some of my very high heels. I mentioned the one but there were many. I thank my feet for carrying me in those somewhat frightening foot coverings that moved me from one side of the room to the other when I thought it added quite a bit to my appearance. Maybe they did and I thank those shoes and my feet especially but I happily let them go now. I admit it was difficult for me to let go of the shoes also because I had spent quite a bit of money on them but as Marie Kondo says that was part of the lesson. And, I accept that I’m not in that phase of my life anymore. This was a good way to accept growing up.
I think it’s the perfect time of the year to do a little purging. If our lives are so filled with things and thoughts we don’t need, how can we have space for the new things we want to welcome in?
I hope you enjoyed my little write up on purging and letting go.